What Completes You?

I wasn’t expecting to post anything today, but as I was washing the dishes (with ten other things on my to-do list this evening) I just started singing worship songs. This has been happening a lot the past few days when I'm alone, which is weird if you consider one of the things I'm walking in during this season of life, but it just goes to show that anything this world can give (or not give) does not complete us. I am thankful for this.

I was at a luncheon last week where one of the speakers said, “Why would we put our hope in anything this world has to offer when the ruler of this world is the enemy?” Wow. So this got me thinking, where am I putting my hope in things other than Christ? One of the things that I can’t help but think about is my longing to bear and raise children, especially with next month being what it is. I’m aware most people reading this post will not understand what I am referring to, and in hopes that this next statement doesn’t take away from the point of this blog, September 10th was supposed to be our due date before we had the miscarriage.

I remember telling people as I was grieving the loss that I believed we would get pregnant again before that child was supposed to be due. Getting pregnant before then would make it so much better because that child would not have been possible if the first one came to fruition. Maybe that makes sense to some and maybe that sounds far-fetched to others. Looking back, it was just my way of trying to make sense of it all. If and when I have children does not have any significance on how important the first one was that we conceived. I see that now. Chances are I will not be pregnant by the time September 10th rolls around, and that’s okay. Honestly, it’s more than okay because God is not good based on what I can make sense of. God is good because of just that, He is God.

I’ve started reading through the whole bible (well, lets be honest, listening to it on audio because I really struggle with reading a lot in one sitting), and the story of Noah and the flood and then Abraham and Sarah have been so, so enlightening. Though I’ve read these passages more times than I can count, the Lord is allowing certain verses to jump right off the page.

“But God remembered Noah…” Gen. 8:1a

Noah was not like the other humans who had completely rebelled and God did not forget about him. Noah was not anywhere near perfect, but He had the favor of God and he submitted to the instruction He was given by God. I am not perfect, and I don’t know what the future holds (as Noah didn’t know what to expect as he was building the ark), one thing I do know is that God has not forgotten me.

I think we’re often tempted to question if God is there or if He sees us in our struggles. The story of Noah promises us that the Lord will not forget and not only that, but He will always be there for those who love Him.

“Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him, ‘Behold, I now establish my covenant with you and your offspring after you…’” Gen. 9:8-9a

We are a part of that offspring. I am a part of the offspring that God made this covenant with. God had and has a plan for us from WAY before we were ever even a thought in our parent’s minds. Life in and of itself is a miracle, and God is in control of it all.

These next verses I am about to quote have nothing to do with my struggle and then Abraham and Sarah bearing a promised child (that would be to pull scripture out of context), but everything to do with the fact that nothing is impossible for God. God is able and we see He cares, yet He has asked His chosen ones to wait throughout all of scripture.

“The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah… Is anything too hard for the Lord?” Gen. 18:11b & 14a

“The Lord visited Sarah as he has said, and the Lord did to Sarah as he has promised. And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age…” Gan. 21:1-2a

In the waiting, do you trust Him to be enough?

One of the questions I’ve been asking myself often is, “Do I believe children will complete me, or am I allowing Jesus to complete me?”

Do you believe ______ will complete you? What is God trying to teach you in the waiting and are you submitting to that or just looking for an escape?

There are days I’m doing better than others, but as I was praying this morning, I couldn’t help but list out the attributes of God I know to be true, even though not getting what I want when I want it could make me question God. This life is a battle, yet we are here with breath in our lungs for a reason. We are to walk by faith, be made more and more into the image of His son, and experience Him so deeply in the midst of all that doesn’t make sense. We get to have peace that the onlooking world cannot explain.

I am thankful for this season of my life, even though it’s hard. I am finding myself appreciating the good gifts I do have in a way I probably wouldn’t otherwise. I catch myself reflecting on times that I wish I could go back to, times when things seemed more carefree, and then realizing that time will be today, one day in the future. I know children will throw a whole new dynamic into our lives, and though I am excited for that, the Lord is allowing Justin and I both to be a part of things that are bigger than ourselves and some of those things will have to slow down when children come into the picture. So until then… Until that thing that you want so bad comes into your life, press into the opportunities that lie ahead like you’ll never get this time back, because you won’t. And then if/when that thing comes into your life, don't stop chasing after the opportunities God puts in your path.

One day, we will be complete in Christ, but until then, fight for the better thing: Peace with God that surpasses all understanding.