Guard It with All That You Have
As the dishes cling together while I scrub food off from the previously cooked meal or the laundry gets folded and stacked in multiple piles on the couch, I almost always have either a Netflix show or an audio book playing in the background. Pretty much anytime I'm awake and alone, something is on to distract me. I'm embarrassed to admit that my husband even caught me in the shower the other day with Netflix playing in the background. It's really just white noise, but the thought of 10 minutes in silent as I stood under the running water sounded terrible.
If all that doesn't give my next statement away, I don't know what will, but I strongly dislike to be still, let alone for it to be quiet while I sit still. Today though, today I was craving that still quiet place I normally avoid. So I'm here right now and after a good hour of just sitting still, praying a bit and reading/journaling, I decided to blog.
What is the Lord teaching me? Honestly, I don't know outside of this: All that we, mere humans, can not only desire, but possibly think of desiring, does not even come close to comparing what it's like to have the full knowledge and wisdom from the God of this universe.
Four years ago (according to Time Hop), I posted Proverbs 8:10-11, "Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her." Sometimes I really think the younger version of me had more insight than I do today. Nevertheless, what caught my attention in this verse today was where it says, "and all that you MAY desire cannot compare with her." That is crazy if you really think about it. Not only do our deepest desires not compare to God's wisdom for us, but anything we could even possibly think to desire doesn't compare. Why would we not fight for that wisdom?
We read Proverbs 4 in church yesterday, which is all about guarding this wisdom that is so precious. Why do we have to guard it? Because everything in this world is fighting to distract us from the better thing, which is this wisdom that we can't even imagine.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life simply because I have not guarded wisdom with all that I am. Wisdom, according to James 3, is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, good fruits, impartial and sincere. That sure is a gut check.
How many things have I done, even in the past 12 months, out of an impartial and insincere attitude? You know what's great about the Lord though? I'm not condemned for my sin (and neither are you if you simply believe that).
Honestly, I've felt the weight of it all for a while now, but just recently the Lord has brought me to a place of freedom from that because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). He is continually teaching me that as a Christian, I can very easily live in the bondage from my past, or the freedom of my future. Now my past isn't terrible by any means, but it's not perfect either and it's easy to get down on myself and not break free from the things He came to this earth to set me free from.
If you're looking for a good study to walk through and you feel even in the slightest bit enslaved to something, I highly recommend Beth Moore's study, "Breaking Free". The first week of it can be a bit intimidating, but if you push past that, it is so worth it (and I'm only on week 4 of 7 so far).
Also, I heard the song posted below for the first time the other day. This evening as I was coming to the end of my time sitting still, I played it again and really payed attention to the words, which is where this line almost got me choked up: "Lord, I will open up again, throw my fears into the wind."
Listen Here: Touch of Heaven by Hillsong Worship
What is it that you need to open up to the Lord (maybe again) and are you willing to do that in order to walk in the freedom He so desperately wants you to experience?
