Dearly Beloved, I am Here

May 6, 2013

As I laid in my bed early this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, I decided to start writing. My journal caught my tears and I fought to recall truth instead of believing lies about how I wasn't good enough. I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to share this as I’m still in the middle of this difficult season, but if it can help others and bring glory to God through it, it's worth it.

Without going into detail, I lost someone who I thought was going to be in my life for a long time. It was a peaceful ending and  our relationship needed to be over, but that doesn't mean it’s been easy. I wrote the letter below as if God were speaking directly to me. If you are reading this, I'd like you to read it as if He is speaking directly to you, especially if you are going through a season of grief as well.

Dearly Beloved,        

I love you, even when you are hurting and feeling alone. I am here; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Because I love you, you can love others and let others love you again. I have given you a short season of grief to draw you nearer to me. Growth is not easy, it hurts, but I let you go through this because it is good. This season will not last, but right now just learn to embrace me. I love you so much that I will not stand by and let you settle for anything less than who I created you to be. I have a wonderful and perfect plan for your life, on this earth and in my kingdom. I have not called you home yet because there is still work to be done where you are. But, when the time is right, death will not sting and it will not hurt. You have a room in my house with your beautiful name on it. It has been marked from the beginning of time and no one and nothing can change that. One day, your heart will not hurt ever again. Hold on to me. Trust me. I have always been here for you. Even when you doubt me, I am still here. I have every day of your life planned in my book. The winds stop when I tell them to stop. Not one bird has fallen without me knowing. Do you see that I have the power over it all? Why are you scared? I sent my son to die so you no longer had to fear.  Because Jesus concurred the grave, you can concur this. I am near, more so now than ever before. Keep running and do not grow weary. When you feel like you cannot take another step, I will carry you. I have always been here to catch you, but at times I put you down so you can see that you are strong and you are okay. The pain you feel today is not the pain you will feel for the rest of your life.

You have been faithful and I see that. I will bless you in the ways that I see fit. Love is possible. I need you to remember that you are not who you are because of what you do. You are who you are because I speak it. I show you things when it’s time because if I showed you before, you would not be ready. You are ready to face this now. I would not have given it to you if you were not ready. Do you trust me my precious daughter?

Do not feel shamed; I love you despite your past. Look forward to the life I have set before you. Remember, you would not be who you are today or whom I’m leading you to be if you did not make mistakes. If you were perfect, you would not need me. But I say to you, who can save themselves? You need me and that’s more than okay. I made you to long for me. Let the mistakes from your past lead you to me now. I knew you were going to veer away for a little bit, but I also knew you would come back. My arms are open for you. I have given you the choice so when you came back, it was for good. My love, it is okay to hurt. Now that you know what you did not know then, do not let that hurt turn into sin. I want you to know that I do not want a future version of you. I like you for who you are today and I even liked you for who you were then. How could I not like you? I made you in my image. You are so beautiful. One day you will lay in my arms and all the fears, the worries and the hurt will be gone forever. Hold fast to what you know to be true. Fight the evil one, I have given you armor to fight. We will have victory, the story is already written, and the end is good. The end is not only good, but it brings me glory. Satan can taunt you, but he cannot touch you. I will have victory in everything. Not one thing passes by my hands that I do not allow. You know that I have said there is a season for everything. In this current season, it is okay to cry. I am more near to you when you cry. I want you to try and be thankful for this short season on grief. I love to be near you, but I will not leave you hurting. This time will prepare you for the wonderful plans I have for your future.

Trust me, I made you and I know what is best. It will be okay, no matter what happens in this world. I have overcome the world. Do not live in fear, no matter what happens you have me and I promise that is enough. You are not alone and I am faithful.

I love you, always.

God